Catch Fire
"We couldn't find her."
Some of the hardest words I have heard. After sending a picture of me and Angel with words of hope to her back to Africa through Maleah, Sherry, Josh, Brianna, Dowdi, and finally Allen, the response was, "We looked through Kabalagala, but we couldn't find her."
She is lost. Lost in a dark dark world full of traffickers, predators, thieves--just waiting to pick up yet another angel to hurt, ruin, and destroy. To brainwash into thinking that they're not worth anything, and to leave them to fend for themselves every day.
The first day I met Angel, God produced in me a love for her that I have never experienced before. Little did I know that the love I felt mainly towards her would grow into a love that would double triple quadruple, and multiply by MILLIONS to every single child JUST like her, who is hurting.
Before the team came back from Uganda in December, the Lord was surely working in me; preparing me. Intimate quiet times with Him with absolutely no distractions of the world built my heart up. He planted in me strength. Not my strength that comes from what Elise sings or what Elise plays on the keyboard during church, or what Elise does to make Elise's heart closer to His. It was and is solely the power of God that worked in me to give me strength of what the next couple of days would hold.
Before the team from NC left for Uganda, I had asked Josh if he could take a picture with valuable words written on them over to Uganda to maybe--just maybe find Angel at Rays of Hope. To just maybe give her a little bit of hope...I'll admit, it was far-fetched, but little did I know that this hope of mine to reach this angel of mine would stir in my heart an indescribable passion.
I told myself not to think about it, or get my hopes up for what would happen, if they would see her, or what she would say. So, when they returned, I kept my mouth shut about the picture. I told myself I'd wait until someone else brought it up.
It is crazy how God prepares us for stuff. It was during that time, that the Lord grew in me the strength I needed for this. I was talking with Josh, and he casually brought up Rays of Hope. He said they didn't go to Rays of Hope, but he left the picture with Brianna Haferman because she would be there for a few more days. My hope slowly started declining, and I had almost given up.
The following Sunday, I walked out into the hall after sunday school and say Brianna sitting in the hallway. "We went into Kabalagala, and looked for her, but we couldn't find her. Children were grabbing at the picture, and I thought I saw her for a split second, but it wasn't her. I am so sorry Elise.."
The mask came on. I forced a smile on my face and pretended that it was all okay. I hugged her and "moved on." It would be okay, right?
Tears streamed down my still face as I walked down the sidewalk. My heart was in shreds. I knew it was a big leap, but the reality hit that I will probably never see Nakackwa Angel again.
This is when the Strength of God came. Yes, I cried a lot that day. Reality hit, and it hit my heart really hard. I was not ready for this reality of a probably forever lost relationship. But it was that day, that God showed me that the heart of that one child, represents the heart of millions of children that are J U S T L I K E H E R.
Lost. Confused. Broken. Despairing. This is what all the children and people and adults and infants and teenagers and persecuted people of this world are. Wait..this situation sounds familiar? Oh that's right, its MY situation before Jesus came and saved me with His Grace and Power. And the SAME Power that lifted Jesus up from that dead ground, can and will find and save my Angel. And it has saved me. And it continues to teach me and to use me, and to mold me. Shame on me, if I am ever "powerless" to do so because my "relationship that mattered" is gone. Let me be confronted with the Spirit, if I ever refuse to let the Power of Jesus raise in me a hunger to serve all the many angels of the world. Because its here, and I'm ready. So let this passion that was sparked by this turn of events ignite and CATCH FIRE in my heart.
Some of the hardest words I have heard. After sending a picture of me and Angel with words of hope to her back to Africa through Maleah, Sherry, Josh, Brianna, Dowdi, and finally Allen, the response was, "We looked through Kabalagala, but we couldn't find her."
She is lost. Lost in a dark dark world full of traffickers, predators, thieves--just waiting to pick up yet another angel to hurt, ruin, and destroy. To brainwash into thinking that they're not worth anything, and to leave them to fend for themselves every day.
The first day I met Angel, God produced in me a love for her that I have never experienced before. Little did I know that the love I felt mainly towards her would grow into a love that would double triple quadruple, and multiply by MILLIONS to every single child JUST like her, who is hurting.
Before the team came back from Uganda in December, the Lord was surely working in me; preparing me. Intimate quiet times with Him with absolutely no distractions of the world built my heart up. He planted in me strength. Not my strength that comes from what Elise sings or what Elise plays on the keyboard during church, or what Elise does to make Elise's heart closer to His. It was and is solely the power of God that worked in me to give me strength of what the next couple of days would hold.
Before the team from NC left for Uganda, I had asked Josh if he could take a picture with valuable words written on them over to Uganda to maybe--just maybe find Angel at Rays of Hope. To just maybe give her a little bit of hope...I'll admit, it was far-fetched, but little did I know that this hope of mine to reach this angel of mine would stir in my heart an indescribable passion.
I told myself not to think about it, or get my hopes up for what would happen, if they would see her, or what she would say. So, when they returned, I kept my mouth shut about the picture. I told myself I'd wait until someone else brought it up.
It is crazy how God prepares us for stuff. It was during that time, that the Lord grew in me the strength I needed for this. I was talking with Josh, and he casually brought up Rays of Hope. He said they didn't go to Rays of Hope, but he left the picture with Brianna Haferman because she would be there for a few more days. My hope slowly started declining, and I had almost given up.
The following Sunday, I walked out into the hall after sunday school and say Brianna sitting in the hallway. "We went into Kabalagala, and looked for her, but we couldn't find her. Children were grabbing at the picture, and I thought I saw her for a split second, but it wasn't her. I am so sorry Elise.."
The mask came on. I forced a smile on my face and pretended that it was all okay. I hugged her and "moved on." It would be okay, right?
Tears streamed down my still face as I walked down the sidewalk. My heart was in shreds. I knew it was a big leap, but the reality hit that I will probably never see Nakackwa Angel again.
This is when the Strength of God came. Yes, I cried a lot that day. Reality hit, and it hit my heart really hard. I was not ready for this reality of a probably forever lost relationship. But it was that day, that God showed me that the heart of that one child, represents the heart of millions of children that are J U S T L I K E H E R.
Lost. Confused. Broken. Despairing. This is what all the children and people and adults and infants and teenagers and persecuted people of this world are. Wait..this situation sounds familiar? Oh that's right, its MY situation before Jesus came and saved me with His Grace and Power. And the SAME Power that lifted Jesus up from that dead ground, can and will find and save my Angel. And it has saved me. And it continues to teach me and to use me, and to mold me. Shame on me, if I am ever "powerless" to do so because my "relationship that mattered" is gone. Let me be confronted with the Spirit, if I ever refuse to let the Power of Jesus raise in me a hunger to serve all the many angels of the world. Because its here, and I'm ready. So let this passion that was sparked by this turn of events ignite and CATCH FIRE in my heart.
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