Open the eyes of my Heart

Time moves--constantly changing. Never staying at one moment. Life moves--almost never giving you a chance to catch up. HE is constant. Constantly watching. Constantly interceding. Constantly giving Grace-- Grace for the TIME that I fail. All the time. All OF time--ensnared in the clutches of Grace. His Grace. For when I fall, my pride dies and I am caught. Caught in the arms. LOST in the arms. So, I get back up, walking ONLY by Grace. The very Grace that ensnares me for the TIME that I fail. All the time, I fail. Never being good enough, or perfect enough never giving enough, or taking enough. Never enough for this place. He is enough for all of TIME. All of failures. All of us. He gives Grace. Freely. Right now at this TIME, accept it. Let yourself fall, and your pride die. Let Him give and give until you are overwhelmed. With Grace. Until it overflows into your life, and friends, and family. Until you can't stop sharing t...

This Duck Dynasty mess is all over the media. Why can't someone stand up for what they believe? Why doesn't A&E just let it go? Why is the LGBT community going crazy over an answered question?  As believers, it is so easy to be upset and mad about the world and what it has come to. We can't even publicly declare what we believe after it is asked? Some argue that it violates first amendment rights, others say that you can't say stuff like that as a public figure, and others just let them fight it out.  So how, as believers, should we respond to what we know to be false? I would want to fight back. To immediately be defensive and show the gay communities that they're wrong and that they're just as intolerant as they claim us to be.  But is that what Christ would want as a witness--His ambassador?  We are free to approach the throne of Grace and receive forgiveness. So isn't this how we should respond to the world? Grace. Grace-the hard...

Sometimes I just want to stay out all night with my friends being stupid and ignorant without a care in the world. Then my brain quickly zaps me back into reality and I tell myself "I can't live that lifestyle." Where is the balance?   I want to stay out late every weekend with my best friends. I want to travel crazy places every summer. I want to live life to the fullest, not missing a MOMENT of it. But is that wrong? Is that my own selfishness getting in the way? I battle with this question quite often. One day, I'll be wanting to go on a road trip across the country with my best friends, and then another day, I'll be telling myself there are better, more Kingdom focused things I could be doing with  my time. However I have come to the realization that my fun, sad, scary, exciting, spontaneous life is a ministry.  It's not just when I have that mindset of "let me GO," it is even when I'm about to go see a movie with my friends...

I often wonder what it is about Prayer: The action that humbles hearts and heads. The words that quiet everyone else immediately. I think it was at fuel groups on sunday night. We were all being crazy and laughing at the stupidest things when Emily decided to start and said that we were going to pray. Immediately, like a sudden explosion across the room, we all fell silent. And that's when I noticed it..SILENCE before God. Is it the Power of God? Or maybe the fear of the power of God? Or maybe it's just being in awe of the creator. Being in awe of the one who can give life and take it back in a heartbeat--a thing he created. Maybe its knowing that we have no room to talk or even breathe in the Presence of the One who sent His Son to die so that we could BREATHE HIS LIFE FOREVER. Maybe it's God. Maybe it's recognizing our sin in light of who He is and knowing we have fallen short of ALL the Glory of our God, and knowing that He accepts us just the same. ......

Sometimes the angry faces and worn-out mothers, whiny children, or upset fathers aren't all that they seem.  They're people. Just like you and me. I consider myself to have a good life. I have family, great friends, I have food, a job, a car. I have an education and a little bit of spending money. I have college potential and a house. And even with all this, I seem to have "bad days".  But what about all the people who don't have all that I do? A single mother of 3, or a recently divorced adult. A struggling man, or hungry child. A man who just lost his job, or just another failed interview. A woman who's husband just died, leaving her stranded with 2 toddlers. A family who's child died in a car accident. An adult who just found out they had cancer. A teen who has a positive test after an all-night party.  I am realizing that everyone's life is not the same as mine. Not everyone has stuff, cars, money, a house, or food. Not everyone has ...

"The average smartphone owner spends more than two hours each day using the device. During that time, smartphone owners spend an average of 25 minutes using their phone to browse the web, 17 minutes on social networking, 13 minutes playing games and 16 minutes listening to music. [telegraph.co.uk]" "The average adult will spend over 5 hours per day online, on nonvoice mobile activities or with other digital media this year, eMarketer estimates, compared to 4 hours and 31 minutes watching television. Daily TV time will actually be down slightly this year, while digital media consumption will be up 15.8%. The most significant growth area is on mobile. Adults will spend an average of 2 hours and 21 minutes per day on nonvoice mobile activities. [emarketer.com]" In the above statistics, almost 8 hours a day is used on Internet/phones ALONE.  While the use of Internet has greatly increased the convenience of organization, timely meetings, q...

Come to Me, I'm all you need. We have drifted so far far far away from that truth. To truly believe and live as if He is all we need. I feel like sometimes God just can't help but to look at us living life, striving after things and appointments and places and work and school when all we need is to live in that truth. That He is all we need. He is our steadfast. Your fleshly life and heart WILL fail you. Accept that. But also understand that He is our faithful steadfast to carry and pick us up when we need it because we WILL need it. And because of that, we have hope. We strive after so much more. After things not after His own heart, and He sits there wanting us to turn back and run to Him. He is closer than my breath. I can hear Him calling me back to Him, and I see many things holding me back from His warm embrace when His Grace has already accomplished that. I am FREE. No evil can conquer me, I am His. So I will run. I will push my distractions away and run. I ...

"I make all things new." Maybe thats how God wants us to be. Overwhelmed at the thought--or fake sight of Jesus. That's how I am. Crying out. I am in Love. I have always wondered what it would be like to fall in Love with Jesus. People say it all the time, and now I realize. I want to Love Him with ALL that I am. After seeing a clip like that and imagining that He was thinking of ME when He died? When He said that..He wanted to make ME new? I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed at His constant renewal of Grace that covers me. Covers my sin; me. His body that was poured out for me so that the righteous requirements of the Law might be met.  I am Loved. In His great Grace and Mercy, he CHOSE me. Chose me to be His by offering Himself. He LOVES ME with an everlasting love. He cares so much about me to send his own Son into the sinful world that He LOVES. I am free. I am free from all that once held me down. All that once kept me in the dark realms of this wor...

As big events happen throughout the year, I find myself reflecting alot. Reflecting on life, the summer, the school year. Looking ahead with great anticipation as to what God has planned and ready for me. I reminisce on great times with great friends who taught me and challenged me to be better for Jesus. To think better and deeper for Him. And to do myself and the world a favor by learning and digging deeper about my faith, and why I believe it. Great speakers who taught and taught and taught and invested in students' lives to motivate and equip them (and me) to make a change in the world, our world, where God has placed us TODAY. I learned that just because I'm not in Guatemala or Uganda, I can still be just as much for Jesus because America is made of the business, journalism, media, food, marketing, and fashion markets. We need Christians to be influential there JUST as much as anywhere else. I learned that I can use my talents to impact America, where God has placed...

Rebecca showed me what she had written and I thought I would share it. Oh, to have faith like a child. "Matthew 18:15-20 We focus on being a family that shares life together as a kingdom. A Kingdom that shall never end and our focus is sharing the gospel to those who are still in need and are hruting and suffering more than we could imagine. They need our help. They need our comfort. When people come to wherever you live, they don't feel at home. They feel lonely and scared. People of America, stand up. Do what God has called you to do! Help people maybe even in your neighborhood that just moved in. Hey, I'm talking to you, you with the red, white, and blue flag. You are so selfish, we are so selfish. Do we know how much the devil is tempting us? Be strong, hold on to God's hand. Jesus had nails in His hands for us, now I think we should do something for Him. He took the punishment that we deserved, He came down with veins of love, when He died he took our...

Words cannot even begin to describe all that God has taught me through life this summer. I am so full. Constantly being filled more with His Grace and His mercy that renews me daily, hourly. Through my summer travels I have seen the transforming Power of the Gospel in minutes as I have watched people’s faces and souls go from confused and searching to resting and found. I could and probably will write story after story about broken people hearing the Gospel for the first time and believing. Accepting Jesus as a whole. And there are not many greater gifts than that. It’s overwhelming to try and fit all that I have learned this summer into words, much less a blog that people could actually understand, but all I can do is try. At the beginning of Trinidad, I asked someone wise for some advice. Anything that he would want to tell young people who seek to further the name of Christ and what he said really got me thinking. He simply said, “never be too good t...

Trinidad. An unforgettable trip for sure. Tomorrow morning at 3:30am I leave for Uganda, Africa. I will try to blog while I'm there, but I'm not sure about the Internet situation. Please be in prayer for our team as we seek to further the magnificent Kingdom of God. God taught me so much, is teaching me so much. And that is my prayer: that the God of everything; life, would continue his work in me. That I would never stop growing. Trinidad was beautiful. It is located right off the coast of South America (we could see Venezuala), and very tropical. So many palm trees and so much humidity. One thing I learned this trip was to never be good enough to stop learning, or to stop growing. Us humans think so highly of ourselves, so much more highly than we out. And one thing I missed before leaving for Trinidad was how I really underestimated the power of the Holy Spirit. For four out of the nine days we were there, we did bible clubs for communities. Our group of 140 split ...

I think the word "full" would describe my summer. I spent two weeks at an apologetics, worldview-training conference in Colorado, which was absolutely amazing. I learned way more than this small brain could handle. I am now preparing. Sometimes I don't even know what for. Opportunities? People? Encounters? God? Lord, what am I here for? Why me, on this trip? A question that I must often remind myself of. Why me? Our God is a great God. While at summit, I had the opportunity to talk to one of my new friends there. His name is Joshua. Joshua is the one in the middle next to me. He is adopted from Ghana, Africa, and I got to hear some of his story which was really cool. He said that when he was younger, white people would come into his village ever year. At first, I asked Joshua if the white missionaries even made an impact on his life, but his response shook me up. "Once you experience love, it's hard to not miss it." To experience love? Could it reall...

Prayer requests/Praises I have numbly walked through the routine of racking my brain to find something to say whenever asked if I have any prayer requests/praises. Growing up in church, it's all I have known. Sharing what we must ask God for. Another thing to ask God to fix.  Recently, I have started writing down on a list things I feel like I need to pray for. It could include friends, situations, friends prayer requests, personal spiritual help, etc. It has really helped me to be more intentional about my praying about specific things recently. (I would encourage it if you aren't already) Reading and praying over my list tonight, I noticed something that God had answered or improved and I naturally wrote "praise" beside it. So, now I can start praising God for that one answer to prayer. Check it off the checklist? Awesome! No no no this is the burden God placed on my heart tonight. In the middle of writing what I should do in response to that answer to pra...

"What makes me happy, is seeing someone else smile because I put it there." Zach Sobiech I think that this quote, said by the recently passed Zach Sobiech, in a way, recaps my life. I see teeth shine behind shy lips and knowing that I may have said something to make that happen makes me happy. I remember we had stopped somewhere to eat on the way back from the Safari in Uganda. It was a nicer part of town, and we had stopped at a restaurant owned by a very nice English man. We were about to leave when I, being just another foolish, rich, american, pulled out a piece of gum to pop in my mouth. The English man asked for a piece, and handed it to one of the children walking along the road. The child took it, put it in his mouth, and there it was. That beautiful smile that didn't need the "whitening" mint gum, because Jesus had already supplied him with the most beautiful smile. But because he had noticed him, added immediate value to that child's life,...

Defining non-believers vs. yourself. Can people even accomplish that? What specific thing, or lack thereof makes the difference that strangers can know for a fact that you are different.  Is it the intentional smile, or wave? Or the genuine interest in someone's day? I strongly believe that, as Christians, we must stand out. This doesn't mean standing outside of a huge crowd. No, not physically standing out, but standing out. Being different. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them.  And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what good is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great and you will be sons of t...