Why You Don't Want What I Have
Many women want to be where I am. It's true. We've all talked about it and dreamed about it, and people tell me "how lucky I am" and "how amazing this is," etc. I will talk to friends, and they will just look at me with such longing in their eyes that their lives mirrored mine.
I remember as a girl growing up, and in middle school, and even carrying on into high school and college, I longed to be loved by a man. I dated quite frequently in high school and always had a guy that I could call mine. I remember laying awake at night with a sleepless mind that just dreamt about what it would feel like to be held in big strong arms, or to be kissed on the forehead, or to be kissed in general. It was probably going to be the most amazing feeling in the world, I was sure of it! To have a life with a man that loved me, was perfect in my eyes. Nothing else could top it.
This lie has been one of the biggest ones that has attacked girls and women in our culture today. The longing to be loved by a man as the definition of success. Nicholas Sparks movies (which I do watch), portray this knight that meets the damsel's needs just perfectly. A match made in heaven I tell you! A perfect life with a perfect scenery (usually North Carolina, just saying), and a perfect man.
My friends, these fairytales are a big fat load of B. S.!
I remember when I first met and started dating Jonathan Griffin. It was the most amazing feeling! We would hang out late at night into the wee hours of the morning. Drive all over the state just talking..hang out at the Waffle House on Jonestown Rd, and dream the biggest dreams together. It felt perfect, that's for sure.
But as every relationship does, you begin to know each other. Amazing, right? Trust me, when you pair sinner with sinner, its always ugly. Working through hurt and pain, figuring out how to love one another, choosing to love one another, and choosing to spend the rest of life together pursuing this race towards the cross...it's an adventure for sure, but it is never what I thought it was going to be like.
It's hard, and I have bad days too, and even though I have a consistent date night every Sunday night, it doesn't always mean that we're just gazing into each other's eyes all the time talking about how perfect life is. It's great being kissed on the forehead, but it means so much more than a simple fuzzy feeling that I used to yearn for. And I still long to be loved, I still long to be cherished perfectly and to be taken care of perfectly, and although Jon does a pretty darn good job, he will never be what the deepest parts of me long for. And he shouldn't be!
It just has been really weird for me to talk with my friends and for them to tell me how much their lives suck and then to be like "your life is perfect" and the reality is that it's just a sucky as theirs because I'm in exactly the same position as them...saved by Grace but still a sinner. Awaiting the day for my Jesus to say to me "Welcome, Elise."
And I understand why they say that...because it SEEMS perfect..like I have NO reason to complain. I have a man, a life plan, goals, a job, a really beautiful ring (like forreal), and a family that loves me, but if this is what I lean on, if this status is my identity, then I am no more content than a homeless man who can't find his next meal.
Us and our longings are nothing if we are not looking to the source of perfect fulfillment to meet our longings. My longing to be a mother, once the act of it is fulfilled, will not bring my heart to a place of contentment. Just like my longing to be loved by a man, as it has been fulfilled, has not brought my heart to a place of perfect contentment.
This important lesson has made loving Jon a lot more beautiful and easy. When I take the pressure off of him to be perfect man, perfect husband, and perfect lover, it frees us to be broken together and to not have to live up to the Nicholas Sparks fairy tales. It makes love sweeter, and it makes our journey easier. I love him!
You are only fully content, when you rest in the arms of Christ Jesus. When you realize that your ONLY identity is "saved". And out of that flows daughter, mother, wife, etc. I don't care where you are or what your life looks like right now. Until you rest in this reality, you will not rest.
As a soon-to-be-bride, I am still not content in some things..and it has made me realize that this longing of love that I was striving for, will not be met until I let the Lord be the one to fulfill it. Never Jon, never money, never kids, or pets, or wealth. Never a job promotion, or a good playlist, or the perfect Instagram life.
But only the Lord.
Philippians 4:11-13
I remember as a girl growing up, and in middle school, and even carrying on into high school and college, I longed to be loved by a man. I dated quite frequently in high school and always had a guy that I could call mine. I remember laying awake at night with a sleepless mind that just dreamt about what it would feel like to be held in big strong arms, or to be kissed on the forehead, or to be kissed in general. It was probably going to be the most amazing feeling in the world, I was sure of it! To have a life with a man that loved me, was perfect in my eyes. Nothing else could top it.
This lie has been one of the biggest ones that has attacked girls and women in our culture today. The longing to be loved by a man as the definition of success. Nicholas Sparks movies (which I do watch), portray this knight that meets the damsel's needs just perfectly. A match made in heaven I tell you! A perfect life with a perfect scenery (usually North Carolina, just saying), and a perfect man.
My friends, these fairytales are a big fat load of B. S.!
I remember when I first met and started dating Jonathan Griffin. It was the most amazing feeling! We would hang out late at night into the wee hours of the morning. Drive all over the state just talking..hang out at the Waffle House on Jonestown Rd, and dream the biggest dreams together. It felt perfect, that's for sure.
But as every relationship does, you begin to know each other. Amazing, right? Trust me, when you pair sinner with sinner, its always ugly. Working through hurt and pain, figuring out how to love one another, choosing to love one another, and choosing to spend the rest of life together pursuing this race towards the cross...it's an adventure for sure, but it is never what I thought it was going to be like.
It's hard, and I have bad days too, and even though I have a consistent date night every Sunday night, it doesn't always mean that we're just gazing into each other's eyes all the time talking about how perfect life is. It's great being kissed on the forehead, but it means so much more than a simple fuzzy feeling that I used to yearn for. And I still long to be loved, I still long to be cherished perfectly and to be taken care of perfectly, and although Jon does a pretty darn good job, he will never be what the deepest parts of me long for. And he shouldn't be!
It just has been really weird for me to talk with my friends and for them to tell me how much their lives suck and then to be like "your life is perfect" and the reality is that it's just a sucky as theirs because I'm in exactly the same position as them...saved by Grace but still a sinner. Awaiting the day for my Jesus to say to me "Welcome, Elise."
Us and our longings are nothing if we are not looking to the source of perfect fulfillment to meet our longings. My longing to be a mother, once the act of it is fulfilled, will not bring my heart to a place of contentment. Just like my longing to be loved by a man, as it has been fulfilled, has not brought my heart to a place of perfect contentment.
This important lesson has made loving Jon a lot more beautiful and easy. When I take the pressure off of him to be perfect man, perfect husband, and perfect lover, it frees us to be broken together and to not have to live up to the Nicholas Sparks fairy tales. It makes love sweeter, and it makes our journey easier. I love him!
You are only fully content, when you rest in the arms of Christ Jesus. When you realize that your ONLY identity is "saved". And out of that flows daughter, mother, wife, etc. I don't care where you are or what your life looks like right now. Until you rest in this reality, you will not rest.
As a soon-to-be-bride, I am still not content in some things..and it has made me realize that this longing of love that I was striving for, will not be met until I let the Lord be the one to fulfill it. Never Jon, never money, never kids, or pets, or wealth. Never a job promotion, or a good playlist, or the perfect Instagram life.
But only the Lord.
11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
This is great!
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