An Angel's Journey (part 2)


            Tuesday came with a strange excitement about seeing Angel. I walked into the gates of poverty again, seeing cow intestines being sold on the sidewalk, and charred fish covered in maggots, watching children sit in the mud while their mothers worked. When we got to Rays, I searched for angel urgently, feeling God telling me to find her. Classroom to classroom I searched, praying that rememberence would be there for her when she saw me. The last classroom I walked into was a “baby” one, and so I hoped she would be here.  I asked several children where she was, fingers pointed and my heart grew so big. There she was, running after me, again. I picked her up and held her close as tears from out of nowhere started coming down my dirt-covered face. I took her out of the classroom for a few short minutes, asking her how she was and simple questions like that. I asked her if she remembered my name, and out of probably 50 children I had come into contact with, she and Ibrah were the only ones that remembered my name after one time. “Auntie Alice, I love you so much.”

            Those words I never take lightly whenever I hear them. I love you so much. Although I had only known her for a few short hours, she LOVED me. And I LOVED her. I told her God loved her so much and I loved her too and it was getting soon for me to leave for a while. I knew I was going to see her after her class, so I hugged her real tight and lead her back to her classroom.

            Before I knew it, Sherry was telling the team it was time for us to leave. Thinking we still had another hour here, I started panicking and immediately stopped what I was doing to say goodbye to Roge, and Angel. Everyone was in the middle of their classes, but I HAD to see her. Again, feeling the Lord guiding me every single step to her classroom. A precious little boy was going back into the classroom and so I took hold of the opportunity to slip in. I motioned for her to come back outside for a minute, apologizing to the teacher for yet another intrusion.

            And right then, I realized what I was about to do. Say goodbye. I’ve learned that saying goodbye sometimes hurts the worst. Not only leaving this child that I feel God has placed in my life for a reason, but for going back home. Leaving that country was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. The tears started streaming hard as I pulled Angel in my arms. And she looked up at me and said, “Don’t worry auntie Alice, we’ll be together again. I love you so much.” I begged God to somehow let me see her again. To somehow let this not be the last time I was going to see her, but the answer from Jesus was silent.

            She kissed me on the cheek, and I kissed her on her forehead telling her that I loved her so much and that I’ll see her soon.  Back into her classroom she went, and as she shut the door behind her, God shut her from my life leaving me with only memories.

            Driving away from that place left me heartbroken. Empty, lost, and confused. Immediately I began praying for her, for me, for us. For her family situation, which I have no idea what is like. Her schooling, her faith, just everything. From that moment when she shut the door until now as I write this, I have had a permanent hole in my heart. A longing to be with the kids I love so much, to help, to SERVE and to LOVE with everything I have on those who have everything they need: Jesus.

            It wasn’t until I got back to the states that I realized what God was trying to teach me through Angel. When I first met her, she clung to me, never willing to let go. She knew I was there for her and she held on to that with all that she could. I got distracted with other children, trying to even out the attention all the kids were getting. I was trying to help, but also to pay attention to her, and she would still look up at me and say, “Oh, I love you so much.” Then I applied that to my own life. I try to cling to Jesus, but I get distracted with other people, other things, WORLDY possessions, but yet he continues to want me, to love me.

            And he still looks down at me and says, “Oh, Elise, I love you so much.” 

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